For some reason, I can’t keep my eyes off the short loop. There’s beauty in nature and in daily experiences. I think most people depend on others or a lot of money to feel this happiness, but I think, happiness is always a state of mind.
And here is the truth— it’s that i hate myself. Every single thing i’ve done, has just been so i'm wanted. But all it’s made me is more vulnerable, with more open wounds. The fire was never really a fire, just a tiny light candle. I was never really fearless, just stupid and blind. I was never really heartless, just numb to most things. I’ve tried to regrow my wings after they were cut. But I guess not everyone gets second chances. And every time i jump off the tower, i land face first on the pavement. Months later, i'm still picking rocks out of my teeth. My smile is blood and gravel. But, it’s not pretty like i pretend it to be. Most nights i try to tell myself that it was all worth it. That i am not still shaking in disgust. That my sins aren’t as bad as they seem. But the devil thought that too— back when he was an angel. He was still thinking it as he fell. He’s still thinking it now.
And here is the truth— it’s that i hate myself. Every single thing i’ve done, has just been so i'm wanted. But all it’s made me is more vulnerable, with more open wounds. The fire was never really a fire, just a tiny light candle. I was never really fearless, just stupid and blind. I was never really heartless, just numb to most things. I’ve tried to regrow my wings after they were cut. But I guess not everyone gets second chances. And every time i jump off the tower, i land face first on the pavement. Months later, i'm still picking rocks out of my teeth. My smile is blood and gravel. But, it’s not pretty like i pretend it to be. Most nights i try to tell myself that it was all worth it. That i am not still shaking in disgust. That my sins aren’t as bad as they seem. But the devil thought that too— back when he was an angel. He was still thinking it as he fell. He’s still thinking it now.
